'I want you to be very careful about what you are doing with girls [Lord Billy]. (I've got two guys over here whose daughters go to the charter high school who know you and of you)
I know that you are going to get physical with girls, you just need to make sure you are taking the proper precautions.
Besides the risk of pregnancy, you have to remember things are not like they were when I was a kid and you maybe got crabs or the clap.
The largest segment of the population in the U.S. which has AIDS now is people your age and a little older. You never know who a girl has been with, what she has done after parties, or what sexual mistakes she has made but will never tell you about.
Just like a girl will never ever know what your exact experiences are/have been.
Just because a girl tells you she is a virgin doesn't mean anything.
Who is to say she hasn't been giving hummers or doing other things which are just as risky.
Yes, in case no one ever told you, AIDS can be transmitted through a hummer.
I understand and remember what it was like at your age.
Be safe, is all I'm saying.
Your mom and I are not going to come down on you like a ton of bricks because you have condominums in your possession.
But, keep in mind, if you are keeping one in your wallet, besides the ring in your wallet communicating to everyone, don't carry one all of the time.
The reason is, it would suck to pull out your insurance policy and find out it has been destroyed from having 200 + pounds grind on it every time you sit down or move around. Nothing good can come from that.'- Letter Lord Billy recieved from one of his Elders
Being the dirty minded human being that I am, I've decided to review this little piece of knowledge.
Things are not like they were when I was a kid and you maybe got crabs or the clap: Speaking from personal experience? It's amazing what you can glean from someone's letters. Especially when they don't even realize that they are letting you in on this little bit of information.
Yes, in case no one ever told you, AIDS can be transmitted through a hummer: Holy hell! That's a little too much information. Whatever happend to, When two people love each other very much?! I also think that most adults underestimate the fact that we do know things. I've known that little tid bit of information for about three years. The person who told it to me then was about two years younger. I swear, teenagers are a veritable well of practial information that no one really cares about. Jeopardy for the masses, I say.
Your mom and I are not going to come down on you like a ton of bricks because you have condominums in your possession: Since when did Lord Billy own beach front property? Wouldn't it take a ton of bricks to make a condominium? How many stories is it? (Let it be known that the last statement is to be said with a slightly sleazy lilt to the voice. Perfect for sexual connotation.) I just love it when people screw things up like that. I know, I do it myself. But to confuse a small piece of latex with a large building? Priceless.
Insurance policy: My gods. That is great. One more to add to the list of Funny Things To Call a Condom When You're Too Chicken Shit To Say The Actual Word.
There you have it. My review of the great "Birds and Bees" speech, as given to Lord Billy.
Today's Preferred Torture Method: Being stuck at home.
The Other Voices In My Head: Dune-Frank Herbert. (Yes, two reviews are on the way. Just be patient. there's a reason I posted this review. It was to tide you over. Stating the obvious. I know.)
Sounds Bite: Body Crumbles-I can't remember who it's by. Someone please e-mail me and tell. I beseech you.