Another week come and gone. Another weekend here at last. Ri-ight. What other lies are they going to shove down our throats? Today feels like a flippin' Wednesday.
Those little demons that masquerade as "grades" appeared in the mail today. These aren't really based on preformance in the class. It's all about the teacher's opinion of you.
Examples, Using My Own "Grades":
College Sucks Ass: a.k.a. College Success. Satan's Best Friend doesn't know who I am. I think she's likes the fact that I know how to sleep with my eyes open and nod occasionally. Both very useful skills in college courses. Learned them in 7th grade World History. Assignments I have actually turned in: Three. (I can never remember my planner, not that I want to. Or even use the damned thing for that matter) Grade: 82B.
Remedial Reading for the Literate: a.k.a. Reading Across the Genres. THE MOST PANSY-ASSED CLASSEVER! Venn diagrams for everyone. Just in case you forgot everything you learned in third grade, the college requires you to take this class. Remember those gods be damned demeaning Weekly Readers we used to get in elementary school? They've come out with a more "sophisticated" version. They're called Teen NewsWeeks. When approached with these Teen NewWeeks, run like hell screaming "The British are coming!!!" Assignments I have actually turned in: 5. We have the class once a week. Can't remember anything from the mind-numbing lecture. Grade: 51.8F. Why bother? I know this shit already. She hates me, yet thinks I have "potential". Any prof who gives you the "potential" speech, knows absolutely nothing about you. Nor cares.
The Dictatorship: Remember that letter I wrote way back when? He still hasn't forgiven me for it. Nor will he ever. Mention the word "anarachist" in my class and he glares at me. If anything bad (see: cheating, sarcasm, sleeping) happens during his class, he instantly looks in my general direction. I am the source of all evil now. Might as well be french. That way he can declare me the anti-christ and get it over with. Assignments I've actually turned in: about everyother one. Some I just don't understand/can't find what the hell he wants. Others I just half ass and turn in. Grade: 61.5D I'm "passing".
Mathematics For Morons: a.k.a. Geometry. Easy as pi. Cheesy, I know. The prof is great. Gives us notes, gives us assignment, leaves us the hell alone. Doesn't load us down with ridiculous homework either. She's great. I do most of her assignments during Modern Dead Language or lunch though. Assignments I've actually turned in: 80% of daily work, not a single Math In The World. I swear they are trying to get Am. History into everything. I refuse to abide by it. Refuse! Grade: 73.8C Nothing horrible, could be better. Might actually think about doing more work to get it where it should be.
Modern Dead Language: a.k.a. English. No one speaks true English anymore. Don't be fooled. What you see right now, not English. This is american (collective shudder). Even worse, it's modern speak. Gasp. It started out interesting. Then we got the Am. Lit. Books...Spell it with me: H-E-L-L-I-S-H. They've forced the "history" of this nation down our throats too much this year. We have an Am. Hist., Am. Lit., Teen NewsWeek, Math In The World. All that "fun" stuff. Gah. It's sickening. There is no such thing as Am. Lit.!!! I don't care. It's a bunch of drug-addicts running through the forest naked. Then living to tell about it. Sheesh. I know teenagers that do that every weekend. You don't see them with book deals, do you? No!! Assignments I've actually turned in: All but three. Grade: 83.4B Whoo...
Musical Basket Weaving: Anathema, mon amour. Ma mauvaise. J'adore toi. Enough said. Assignments I've actually turned in: All of 'em. Grade: A. Take that!
Life, for the Living Dead: a.k.a. Bio. DX has turned into the a petulent eight year old. So far this week, he's walked out on our class five times. We've only had two classes. All because no one had the answer to a question on a subject he failed to teach us about. Then he comes in and starts babbling about how he's going to sit in the back of class and act like a dumbass. Lo and behold. He'd been doing it in front of the class the whole time. Imagine. Then he gets back there and acts like an imbecile. Bragging about how many offers he's had to teach "real" college student. In a "real" university. Apparently, we're too low brow for his ways. Which include, but are not limited to: drinking, smoking weed, sex, camping.
Assignments I've actually turned in: All but one. Stupid chemical evolution paper. Grade: 86.8B
Well, enough babble. It's now 10:56 p.m. Took flippin' forever to write this.
Today's Preferred Torture Method: The candy at the bottom of old lady's purses
The Other Voices In My Head: Enchanter-Sara Douglass (I'll be done tomorrow, expect review)
Sounds Bite: Skin-Collective Soul