Those of you whom might know my schedule for the summer, or have just been in my vicinity within the past two weeks know that I went to my first convention this past weekend (July9-11).
You'd think that driving for seven hours each way and spending two/three days in a hotel crammed with people trying to become two-dimensional would garner some cute little story or anecdote. I have come to show you proof that it does not.
I must say that watching reruns of Cat's Eye and ThunderCats in an ice-cold and pitch black room made me realize that I needed a new travel agent. That was just the first day of this venture, too.
There were some really great times, though. Running the otaku zoo in the business center of our hotel was amusing for about an hour.
People In the Hall, Waiting for Elevator: What the hell is going on?
Me: And here we have two otakus in their natural habitat. Be sure not to tap on the glass, it makes them nervous and they might die.
People; Die?!!!
Me: Oh, I'm sorry. I meant in their MMORPG. They're both on the cusp of becoming lvl20s and they need the perfect conditions to succeed.
People: Damn. I wish there were stairs in this place. The elevator is taking an usually long amount of time to get here...
On the last day there, things really perked up. I spent a few hours bitching with the guys from Waldenbooks. They even made me their unofficial mascot for the day. Around 11-ish I wandered off to the panel rooms to see if I could find the EGL girls. Per usual, no one showed up and I ended up sitting in a corner with 5 boxes of pocky to keep me happy.
Then came the "Books and pictures; Books with words" panel. It was probably the most entertaining thing I did all weekend. There were two actual people on this panel, as opposed to the one on all the others I'd been to earlier. That's saying a bit since they had around 30 guests and even more unofficial guests lurking around. The popular theory is that most of them were tanked out on Brawls in the LAN room. What makes things even more sad is that the second person on the panel wasn't even a guest. He was a comic artist who had just stopped by because he heard there was a convention in town. Poor thing.
Oh, well. I'll call him Jesus now. During the panel he turned me to the light of comic atristry and made me want to actually go through with the idea I'd been rolling around in my head. Jesus told us all about the different ways to break into the business and about everyone's "first project". Most of which they would rather forget.
It was amazing. I'm really impressed with the guy and I can't even remember his name now...
After that panel there was a "Yaoi/Yuri" panel that the girl I was with wanted to stay and watch. Within twenty minutes, we left. A panel shouldn't really contain live models to show the examples.
It was the ride back to E-ville and Infrastructure Hell that sealed my opinion of the trip. If there is a toddler in the car, it never fails that I will be seated next to it. Even though I'd never been in the area before in my life, I ended up being the navigator until we got to the highway. Without a map or anything I guided the woman driving back to the very exit she'd passed three times in an attempt to "get her bearings". From there, I slept until she pulled off again and decided to grill me about which direction to take now. Which, coincidentally (ri-ight), happend to be the same direction we'd been going for the past half hour. It was at that stop that she decided to fuel the toddler up on caffiene, sugar, and other snacks that should have an age limit of at least 6. For the next three hours it was impossible for me to close my eyes without my hair being pulled, getting kicked, or being pinched.
When we finally made it to the next interstate change, the kid had calmed down and I was able to sleep for an hour. Then the mom decided to throw a fit about the rain and make us pull off again to wait it out. After we finally made it back to some recognizable land, she got bored and took a country road not ten miles from the exit we were supposed to take to get back to my place. It would have been okay if we didn't end up getting lost in E-ville and less than two miles from the campus where her daughter and I spend nine months out of the year.
Me: Ma'am, turn right. It'll bring you to OWCH and you'll be able to find your way.
Lady: *keeps driving straight* I'll keep driving until I see something I recognize.
Nearly two hour later we finally pulled into my driveway. The Elders weren't home and I threw my stuff in the apartment to wait for them but the Lady just would not leave. She babbled until I went to the neighbors and tried Overbearing's cell phone a few times. When that didn't work, we went back to my place.
About that time, an Air Force transport was flying over. She looked up at the sky and said the one sentence that made me wish I'd never laid eyes on her in the first place.
Lady: Looks like you won't have to worry about your family; the aliens are coming for you.
Thus ended my first Convention and the ride back.
Next time, I'll plan better and possibly take a plane. There's no way in hell I'm getting back in a car with that woman.